Campbells condensed tomato soup shirt day

***WARNING: following saga contains graphic chaotic descriptions. If you are sensitive to chaos or do not like Campbell’s tomato soup you might want to skip this one.***

My morning started at 4:45am. Kid 3 was screaming “I did not want to sleep with a diaper!” I hear a thwack as wet diaper hits wall. I roll over and go to sleep smiling that I remembered to lock my door last night. Had a borderline violent encounter with kid1(his part) and I needed some space last night.
At 7:25 Kid 2 is knocking at my door, I shoot out of bed and run to give kid 1 meds. He tells me that he hopes I learned a lesson from yesterday and will make better choices today. I smile and tell him I love him as i shove the meds into him.
I rummage in my drawer for my gym shirt. Unfortunately the laundry is very overdue as the only choice is the “Campbells condensed tomato soup” one. Having no choice i throw it on and cover it up with a sweatshirt.
It’s 7:45 and i need to drive carpool by 8:20. I start to sweat as I throw together kid 1’s breakfast and lunch.
My husband calls from the train to say he forgot to pick up kid 1 to take him to his school that had moved yesterday. I call a neighbor to see if they took their son to school yet, and alas they have. I grab my keys and hear a knock on my door, neighbor wanted to know if kid 1 needed a ride. I blow G-d a kiss and thank you and get back to the packing lunches and snacks for kid 2 and 3. I crack too many pistachios to count.
Kid 2 has a tantrum there’s nothing to eat but manages to find something. I start making kid 3 his bagel with chocolate spread, cream cheese and chocolate chips and throw in a hershey kiss as an additional bribe because he’ll need to eat it in the car. 8:10am kid 3 wakes up and starts screaming. I run up and he’s had an accident (hence the diaper i sneaked on him while sleeping but lying splattered next to the wall) I try dress him, but he’s having a melt down because he’s rigid and only dresses after his breakfast. I send kid 2 to find kid 3’s shoes and alas they are gone. He brings me the “peppa pig saga” shoes. I get a scrubbing brush out and make them presentable. I start my coffee machine. Kid 2 starts the car for me as I try wrestle pants onto kid 3. I throw together his bottle leaving an ovaltene powder track. I switch off coffee machine knowing it won’t happen this morning. I throw his bottle, shoes and breakfast in my purse as i carry my purse, his lunchbox and kid 2 over my shoulder. I look up at the sky and tell G-d “I’ve got this, just sit back and watch the show!”
I Shoulder wrestle kid 3 into his car seat. Thank G-d kid 3 is placated with the hershey kiss and he eats breakfast while i pick up 4 kids and drive them to school. I thank kid 2 profusely and as a reward for his help this morning I flash him my shirt. We dissolve into giggles and he does not believe I’ll go to the gym like that. I drop off kids, drop off kid 3 at his childcare. I do take 10 minutes there to sit in the corner and snuggle with him and do some deep breathing while he finishes his bagel. He rewards me with a nutella kiss on my cheek. And with the kiss and my campells shirt i hit the gym and walk/jog 1.56 miles in under 20 minutes!
#Ivegotthis
#superwoman
#cantmakethisstuffup